Describing this Block

Often times I find myself sitting down to type out the images that have piled up in my head over the hours of a day.  And often times, the piles in a day turn into the mounds of a week, which result in a month of endless jumbles of adverbs and adjectives crawling over each other, all trying to make some sort of sense.  Slowly a month creeps into its plural and I’ve found myself wasting so much time sitting in front of a blank page with only thoughts and no production of such.  I think of my college stream of consciousness exercises; the professor always said, “If you cannot bring yourself to write anything at all, at least keep writing in the form of ‘just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing’ until you can finally just keep writing.”  I try to go back to this method when I struggle with placing these English symbols on paper.  Soon my fingers begin to fly: just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing.

It becomes a routine process at that point.  How fast can I type the same three words, three spaces, and two punctuation marks over and over and over again?  How accurately can I do it while maintaining at least 100 wpm?  How many pages can I fill with these meaningless words?  How many times do I hit the backspace button per line?  Per minute?  Can I keep a metronome pace with each and every key stroke? It becomes a process of attempted perfection needing to be continually perfected.  Habitual addiction.

just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing

Ctrl Alt Delete

just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing

Ctrl Alt Delete

My process of perfecting then becomes trivial and off topic, distracting me from the piles of fragmented sentences begging to be sewn back together.  Pretty soon, I just give up all together and go tend to some other task: cleaning, trail running, training for climbing, sifting through my photographs.  But in that too, something can always be cleaner.  I can always push myself harder in running, more mileage, more hours, more hills.  I could do more pull ups, push ups, research, circuit training.  As for my photographs – something can always be fixed ever so slightly.  And although I perform minimal editing on my photos, I find myself pushing the ‘reset’ button more than anything else in my editing window.  Maybe that’s an attempted at perfection.  Maybe that’s a testament as to how terrible I am at making permanent decisions.

Cisco SP

So, no conclusion. No well formulated thoughts. Just rambles waiting for validation.  Shambles waiting for meaning.

Ctrl Alt Delete

© /skin/ /ˈpōətrē/

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